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May 22, 2005
Benediction
Matthew 29:16-20, 2 Corinthians 13:11-13
The confirmation class this year did a survey course of the Bible. When we got to the gospels, I asked them to think about why it is that we have four accounts of the life of Jesus Christ. I tried to get them to understand that while the gospels all tell the same good news, each of them is unique in their own way, and each had a particular perspective on who they believed Jesus Christ to be.
One of the best ways to get at the uniqueness of each gospel is to look at the way they end. In Mark, perhaps the most puzzling, the women arrive to find the tomb empty, and run away, telling no one what they have seen because they are terrified. In Luke, the risen Jesus makes two appearances—to the couple walking to Emmaus, and to the gathered disciples (in whose presence he eats a piece of broiled fish). In John, we have some of perhaps the best known stories of the risen Jesus—Mary seeing and talking with Jesus at the tomb after mistaking him for the gardener; Thomas with the other disciples declaring he won't believe until he has seen and touched Christ's hands and feet; Jesus suddenly appearing in the locked room where they are gathered and saying, "Peace be with you"; and the story of the disciples on a fishing trip, when they see Jesus on the shore, and end up having a cook out on the beach.
And then there is Matthew. In Matthew, the ending comes rather quickly (although not as quickly as Mark). As happens in all the others, the women go to the tomb and find it empty. After the angel explains what happened, the women "with great fear and great joy" (28:8) run to tell disciples, when suddenly they are met by Jesus. When they see him, the women take hold of his feet and worship him, and Jesus tells them to tell the disciples to go to Galilee where they will all see him (28:10, 28:7).
In between these events and today's passage there is a paragraph of plotting and rationalizing by the chief priests and the guards, who agree to say that Jesus's disciples stole his body (28:11-15).
Finally comes our text, the very last passage in Matthew's gospel. The eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus told them to meet him. And just as promised, Jesus appeared to them.
When they see him, Matthew tells us, they worship him. But then Matthew adds a last phrase to that sentence. Eugene Boring in his commentary says that the last phrase can be translated a number of ways: "but some doubted" (implying that others besides the disciples doubted) or "but some of them doubted" (implying that some of the disciples themselves doubted). The last way it can be translated is the one Boring prefers: "but they doubted", that is the same group who had just worshiped at the sight of Jesus.[1]
I don't know about you, but that phrase gives me great comfort. The disciples who had followed Jesus and sat at his feet, who had seen him crucified and now had the risen Christ in their very presence—they worshiped AND they doubted.
But it goes on. Jesus must have known that they were doubting in spite of the evidence. These were, after all, the disciples whom he was so often chiding for being of "little faith." And yet, in spite of that, Jesus still gives the disciples what is known as the Great Commission:
"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (28:18-20)
With these words, Jesus entrusts the mission of his earthly ministry "not to angels or perfect believers, but to the worshiping/wavering community of disciples" as Boring calls them.[2]
I love that "worshiping/wavering" community, and my guess is it is still an accurate description of Christ's followers in this day and age. Don't all of us move back and forth between worshiping and wavering?
It is easy to experience nagging fear and doubt. It is easy to look at the headlines and believe things are getting worse and what's the use of trying anyway? But in this world of no, God says YES. The appearance of Jesus to the disciples on the mountain is the first time they have seen him since they all fled to he hills when Jesus was arrested. I suspect that in spite of the empty tomb, and the women's claim that they had seen Jesus, the disciples were a bit dubious about going from Jerusalem to Galilee to meet up with Jesus themselves. They went anyway. When they got there, they received a commission—work to do—and a blessing—a call to remember that they are never alone, for Christ is with them. They did what Jesus told them, and they made disciples of others, and the good news has spread to all nations. The worshiping/wavering community accomplished what God asked them to do.
I count myself among Jesus' worshiping/wavering disciples. There are days when I have faith the size of a mountain, and there are other days when it is more the size of a molehill, when doubts begin to creep in. I suspect that I am not alone in this.
But as a minister, I have the obligation—or the luxury, depending on how you look at it—of going through the motions of faith, no matter how I'm feeling on any given day. And more often than not, it is in the doing—visiting at the hospital, doing personal devotions, in the midst of a conversation, preparing for a sermon, or working with the youth—that my faith is again strengthened. In the doing, I am reminded of Christ's presence with us.
Woody Allen says, "Ninety percent of life is showing up." I think the same can be said of faith: ninety percent of it is being there, even if it is going through the motions—in worship, in personal devotion and prayer, in service to others.
You may have heard the saying, "Fake it till you make it." The idea is, in order to succeed at something, you may have to go through the motions pretending as though you can do it, until you actually can do it. I have heard it applied to Alcoholics Anonymous, to business, to sports. But it can also apply to faith.
Twenty-one years ago around this time, I was confirmed at Collegiate Presbyterian Church in Ames. I remember thinking that day that I really didn't believe, let alone understand, the Apostles' Creed, that I wasn't sure I should be joining the church that day, and that I was doing it because it was expected of me, and my parents would be embarrassed if I wasn't confirmed. When I stood up in front of the congregation and said I wanted to join, I was faking it.
I tell the confirmands this story every year. And I also tell them that I never regretted becoming a member on that day, even if I wasn't sure what I believed. Because after I faked it, I also made it. On that day I officially became part of a community that had already embraced and supported me my whole life long, and they continued to do that. Within that community of faith, as we worshiped together, studied together, served together, I was loved, and I learned again and again about how God loves me, and how I might love God.
I suspect that on any given Sunday, there are a number of us who are faking it. But we show up anyway, and the good news—the best news—is, so does God. And whether we are faking it till we make it, or just going through the motions, God is in our midst, ready to transform us into the people God has made us to be.
Thanks be to God for that miracle! Hallelujah! Amen.
1 Boring, M. Eugene, "The Gospel According to Matthew" in The New Interpreter's Bible, Vol. VIII. Nashville: Abingdon, 1995. p. 502 go back
2 Boring, NIB. P. 503 go back
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First Presbyterian
Church of Cedar Rapids
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Phone: 319-364-6148
E-mail: church@fpccr.org
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